how many ways do i love you?
by whistlingwindtree
Summary: Phil enlists the SHIELD team to make a declaration of love to Melinda, post 5 x 18.


**The May Residence, PA**

"This must be an emergency," Lian May said dryly. "Since my only daughter is calling me after eight months."

"I don't have a lot of time," Melinda May's voice was urgent. "And it's been six and a half."

"And how are you, _baobei?"_

"The same," Melinda replied, tersely. "But what's new?"

Lian was instantly alert. She and Mellie had code phrases, and right now her daughter was telling her the line was not be secured.

"What have you been up to, Melinda?" Lian was home, retired now, but still had access to technology from her old life. She immediately pressed a button on her computer to record and trace the call.

"Mom," Melinda's voice was hesitant. "I need your advice."

And if Lian May hadn't been a secret agent for an indeterminate number of years, she would've dropped the phone.

"Who is this," Lian was only partly kidding. "And what have you done with my daughter?"

Melinda ignored that. "Do you remember when I told you about the divorce? With Andrew?"

"How can I forget?" Lian frowned at the memory. "I tried my best to talk you out of it, but you were too damn stubborn."

"I called you before Dad, because you-" Melinda shook her head. "You'd speak your mind."

"I am sure William told you whatever made you happy was best," Lian said archly.

"You told me it was the biggest mistake of my life." Melinda continued. "And that's what I told _you_ when you and Dad divorced."

"Why are you calling, Melinda?" Lian's voice was sharp, and to an outsider it might've sounded harsh. But Lian knew her daughter through and through, and right now Melinda didn't need coddling, she needed to speak her mind.

"Is it too late for me, Mom?" Melinda's voice was somber. "To be happy?"

Lian was momentarily stunned. Melinda sounded desolate, like she needed a warm hug and a good cry.

Lian swallowed the emotion that arose.

"It is never too late, life is what you make it," she cleared her throat. "And so is happiness." She made a derisive sound. "Whether it is wasting time golfing like your father, or collecting too many houseplants like I do."

Melinda laughed softly, and thought about Coulson's fascination with wanting to read Ulysses.

"I've been surviving, Ma," she said wistfully. "But I want to be happy."

Lian brought her hand to her mouth. Her only child, her baby, who she tried to make as tough as possible so she'd survive the world, now needed permission to be happy.

She took a deep breath. "Qiaolian, I want you to do more than survive. But to thrive," Lian hastily wiped her face. "Do you know what will make you happy?"

"Yes, I do," Melinda replied. She hesitated. "I know _who_ will make me happy."

Ah, Lian felt better. A man. Could only be one, and it was about damn time.

"Then what are you waiting for?" Lian said. "You are not getting younger, Melinda. You want something, take it. Is this why you interrupted my afternoon tea?"

"I love you, Ma," Melinda said, looking at the time. She'd stayed on the line long enough for her mother to trace the call, and hopefully she didn't have an apoplexy when she saw they were in Canada again.

Her mom would need her energy for when she realized it was the exact situation, like the last time. SHIELD in shambles.

"I love you, too," Lian replied. "Seize your happiness." And she hung up, already readying a game plan to rescue Mellie if it came to it.

Melinda sighed and reached down, rubbing her thigh.

She'd left Phil with Hale, Daisy had her inhibitor sliced out by Fitz and Yoyo was still in recovery. It was a mess.

Melinda slumped on her bed, allowing regret and then anger to emerge. Regret she didn't make Phil return. For not confessing her feelings earlier. Anger he was giving up his life, giving up on _them_.

That she didn't see the signs something was wrong with him sooner.

And now, the possibility of the end.

"This can't be it," Melinda grabbed her jacket. "We've been through too much."

She zipped it up decisively, and strode out her room.

She needed to confer with Daisy and make sure the younger agent's head was in the game.

Phil _was_ coming back, and when she got him, he'd get a piece of her mind, and she wouldn't let him go.

 **The Lighthouse, the next day**

Phil didn't move for a solid minute.

Melinda's words echoed in his mind even as her steps echoed as she walked away from him.

She loved him?

She? Loved _him?_

Melinda was a beautiful whirlwind, whipping away his fears, and unearthing the feelings he always kept at bay because there were always more pressing concerns.

But what could be more pressing than that he loved her too?

Memories surfaced and he staggered against the wall.

Melinda, with a damaged leg protecting him with her life. Forced to fight in the pits. Sent to the surface alone. Learning she was a mother in another lifetime.

Not believing she could've been one even though she was so deeply loving.

Always giving her all, whether at his side or to each member of the team.

She deserved so much more than he could give right now.

"You're dying Phil," he spoke aloud. What could he offer her besides more heartache?

But didn't she just tell him it wasn't his decision to make?

He slumped to the floor, not moving for a long time.

"You did _what?"_ Mack was incredulous. "Coulson. When a woman says 'I love you', you say it back. _Immediately._ Or it doesn't count."

"May deserves more than just words," Coulson was adamant. "I look like I live under a bridge, and probably smell like it to."

"You messed up, man," Mack tactfully ignored Coulson's comments on hygiene. "How're you gonna fix it?"

Phil sighed.

The world was close to ending. Talbot was compromised by Hydra. Melinda and Daisy were gone and God knows what was happening with Fitzsimmons and Yoyo.

"Melinda deserves a new bottle of Haig, roses, and a candlelit dinner," Phil spoke softly. "I need to shave. Get some fresh clothes."

"She deserves the _truth,"_ Mack returned. "We were in the Framework. All of us. May needs to know what's real. Not what you think she needs."

"You don't get it," Coulson shook his head. "I can't do less than what I did for Audrey. I need May to understand-"

"May knows you better than you know yourself." Mack interrupted. "She doesn't want the trappings."

Phil closed his eyes. He understood what Mack was saying, and while Melinda wouldn't want the trappings, she damn well deserved every single one and more.

"Hey, guys!" Deke called. "Look what I found!"

Phil opened his eyes and frowned. "Deke, why are you carrying lemons?"

"Sounded like you need help expressing your feelings," Deke grinned, proud of himself, and handing Phil a lemon. He turned to Mack. "And I hear you were in the doghouse with Yoyo, here ya go, big guy." And he stuck a lemon in Mack's hand, oblivious to his bewildered look.

"Why do you have one?" Mack was scared to know the answer.

"This is for Daisy," Deke beamed. "So she knows how much I-"

"Oh _hell_ no," Phil and Mack interrupted in unison.

"Are you even vaccinated, man?" Mack asked.

"Full offense, Deke? " Coulson sniffed the lemon. "Daisy at her worst is too good for you."

The bright citrus scent was clearing his thoughts, and a memory surfaced. His mother making lemonade, and allowing him to help, squeezing the cloudy tart juice out, and letting him add too much sugar because he liked it extra sweet.

It was like magic, the way the bitter lemons became a delicious drink, refreshing him.

"When life gives you lemons," Coulson said, thoughtfully. "Deke, I need your help. Mack, you too. We don't have much time."

"You want help? My help?" Deke was at attention, eager to please.

"The woman I love needs to know how I feel," Phil smiled, as the plan unfolded in his mind. "And I need you guys to work while I find an engagement ring."

Mack and Deke stared, dumbfounded, then cheered, clapping him on the back.

"Go big or go home," Mack laughed. "I like it."

Phil grinned, bringing the men in for a huddle. "Ok, this is what I have in mind-"

 **Hydra base**

"You okay?" Daisy pulled May aside. "You had a lot of pent-up aggression back there."

May glowered in response.

"More than usual," Daisy amended, her brow wrinkling. "If there's anything you wanna talk about-"

"Yoyo just cut Ruby's neck, we can't find Hale, and the gravitonium is not off the board like we planned." May's voice was razor sharp. "We need to get back, and you need to lead. Not have a talk."

"Hey, you're always there for me, even when I didn't want it." Daisy moved closer to May and touched her shoulder. "I'm here for you, too. Especially at the end of the world."

May exhaled, glancing at Daisy's hand, red and raw from fighting. She'd taught her to train and fight, shoot an automatic. But that heart and compassion? It was all Daisy.

"I told Phil I loved him," May confessed. Her voice shook and she hated it. "I tried to take my happiness."

"Oh my god, that's awesome!" Daisy gasped, pulling May into a tight hug. "And I totally called it by the way. You being the one to man up." She stopped when she saw Melinda's stony expression. "What did Coulson say?"

May clenched her fist and swallowed the hurt. "Not what I wanted to hear." She squared her shoulders. "I don't want to talk about this again. Let's go find Fitzsimmons and make a new plan."

And Melinda turned on her heel striding off, leaving a stunned Daisy in her wake.

"Seems like Mom and Dad need help," Daisy murmured, watching May. Her mind flashed back to the Bus, with a baby-faced Fitz, and an innocent Simmons with bangs and a mischievous smile.

They were all different people now, especially her.

Daisy let the sorrow rise and the tears fall, washing away the bad feelings that were pent up inside.

"Daisy," May's voice came over her earpiece. "Fitzsimmons is here, safe. We leave in five."

"On the way." Daisy cleared her throat and hastily wiped her face. She started to walk, then broke into a run, towards the only family she'd known.

Time to put away the past, and help make the future.

 **Lighthouse**

"So I don't know how I feel about being a server," Deke complained, pulling at the buttoned-up neck of his starched white shirt.

"Dude, didn't you sell Daisy in slavery?" Mack was placing candles on a table and paused to glare at Deke.

"Yeah, but-"

"So stop whining and go over what I told you." Mack stepped back and looked approvingly at his handiwork.

Stoner seemed to have thought of everything for the Lighthouse and keeping traditions was part of his plan for humanity.

There was a large storage room filled to the brim with Christmas and Thanksgiving decor, and Mack snagged a rich burgundy tablecloth, a candelabra, and fat wax candles, along with silverware and china fit for a king and queen.

It was bittersweet, setting the table and remembering how he'd taught Hope how to.

"See Sparkplug, " Mack murmured, his eyes misting. "Your old man was right. Never know when setting a formal table would come in handy." The memory of a smiling face and thick pigtails assailed him. Of being called Daddy.

"What are the chances there'd be so many bottles of booze in the cellar?" Deke was hovering nearby. "And a secret stash of Haig?" Deke poked Mack in the side. "Stoner sure lived up to his name, huh?"

Mack huffed a laugh, wiping his eyes. "I'm gonna check on the food. Don't drink anything." And while Deke was a pain in the ass most days, Mack appreciated him not commenting at how he emotional he was.

As he walked to the kitchen, Mack realized this was another way his time with Hope came in handy. He was able to prepare a decent meal from the bare bones pantry.

"I miss you, baby," he sighed, as he pulled the oven mitts on, just like he did every day, for years, in another lifetime.

 **Lighthouse, later that day**

"Mommy, can you come here please?" Robin was serious, her dark eyes unblinking.

May had just entered the Lighthouse, ahead of the others, when the little girl appeared, tugging her hand. She knelt to the floor to meet Robin's eyes and looked around warily.

"Robin?" May spoke hesitatingly, but as the little girl's eyes warmed, she grew more confident. "Is everything okay, baby?"

Robin nodded, and hugged May, squeezing her tight. "You need to go freshen up. Wear something pretty."

Melinda laughed softly. "I don't have anything pretty, sweetie."

Robin grew pensive. "Your love for everyone makes you pretty. Wear your love." And she turned, and walked away, leaving a stunned Melinda May.

"This is crazy," Melinda thought as she went to take a quick shower. The world was literally ending, and here she was listening to a tween.

By the time she was under the hot spray, washing away the dirt and bad feelings from earlier, Mack was explaining to Daisy, Fitzsimmons, and Yoyo what was going on and what their roles were.

"Thank you for doing this," Yoyo was somber. Mack didn't know that she'd killed Ruby yet and she wanted to enjoy every precious moment with him before he found out.

"Anything for love, right?" Mack squeezed her hand. He didn't' want to talk about her locking him in that cell yet.

Yoyo hugged him tightly, and they embraced, somehow knowing this might be the last time they'd be happy together.

"Daisy, I-" Fitz began.

"Hey, save it for later, okay?" Daisy interrupted him. "This is about May and Coulson. They've done so much for us. Let's give them this."

Jemma, who was standing next to Fitz, nodded and squeezed her husband's hand. "Understood. Let's get set up, shall we?"

 **Talbot's room**

Phil knocked on Talbot's door, then entered.

The other man was laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling. "Whaddya want, Phil? Here to give me another pep talk?"

"I'm about to ask the woman that I love to marry me," Phil said without preamble. "I need your help."

Glen sat up frowning. "Not looking like that you're not," he barked. " You need to bathe. And shave. And get a formal suit. I swear to God Phil, being around those damn millennials has messed with your mind."

Phil grinned. "I was out getting an engagement ring. How about you get changed, too? I need your help."

Talbot was standing up now, a gleam in his eye. "About damn time you decided to man up and make an honest woman out of her. There's hope for you yet, Phil Coulson."

Phil laughed as he left Talbot's room.

An engagement was probably what they all needed right now.

"Hopefully Melinda thinks so, too," he muttered as he rushed to his room to change.

"So literally, the world is ending," Fitz spoke up. "And this is when Coulson decides to propose?"

He, Jemma and Daisy were huddled in the kitchens, waiting for their cue.

"Ugh, Fitz! You proposed when I couldn't hear it," Jemma rolled her eyes. "And I proposed while we were getting shot."

"And I think I had a concussion," Daisy chimed in. "But guys, after decades, Coulson and May are finally doing this. They need our support, okay?"

Jemma and Fitz nodded in agreement.

"OK gang, you're up!" Mack poked his head in.

"Bus kids, let's do this," Daisy smiled, leading the way.

Melinda had only a few changes of clothes, all dark colors and practical. But she'd spent extra time curling her hair and wore a swipe of lip gloss and eyeliner that she got from Daisy. How the hell Daisy found time to get makeup was beyond her.

She stepped outside her room and gasped. The lights were low, but were those white single stemmed roses, dotting the floor?

She followed, picking up the first rose, then walked farther on, finding a second and third one. Where would it lead?

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." Fitz's voice rose, sure and true, and May jumped.

"I love thee to the depth and breadth and height, my soul can reach, when feeling out of sight, for the ends of being and ideal grace." That was Jemma's clear voice in the distance.

Melinda picked up the pace, retrieving the 4th and 5th roses, blindingly white and velvety soft.

"I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need, by sun and candle-light."

This was Daisy's now, stumbling over the words, with a question in her voice, and May smiled, picking up the 6th and 7th rose. She inhaled, the heady fragrance, invading her senses.

"I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I love thee purely, as they turn from praise."

Talbot came next, gruff and staccato like he was reading from a card. "The hell does this even mean?" he grumbled, and a chorus of voices shushed him.

Melinda laughed and walked further. The 8th and 9th rose, then the closed door to their dining hall.

Bracing herself, she opened it, and she couldn't help it, she laughed.

At her feet, were three more white roses, that she picked it up with trembling hands.

But the rest of the room?

Every possible surface was covered in red and pink and yellow roses, and flickering candles, bouquets interspersed with white baby's breath and greenery.

Was this all for her? Practical Melinda Qioalian May? What would her mother say?

"I love thee with the passion put to use, In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith."

This was Phil, shaved and dressed in a formal suit and holding a bouquet of red roses.

Melinda couldn't speak, she was overwhelmed.

"I love thee with a love I seemed to lose with my lost saints." Phil walked forward, and Melinda's gaze eyed him hungrily. He was so handsome, and he was hers.

He was in front of her now, handing her the red roses to add to her white ones.

And she exhaled because now Phil was kneeling on the floor, taking a box out his pocket.

"I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death."

"Phil?" Melinda said, unsure.

"Melinda," Phil began, his voice shaking. "I have known you as a partner, best friend, and confidant." He opened the box and a diamond ring gleamed. "I don't know how long I have, but if you would marry me, I would be the happiest man in the world."

Melinda felt tears spring to her eyes. This was more than she'd ever expected, even in her wildest dreams.

"Let's have dinner, and no rush for you to answer," Phil continued. He smiled, extending his hand. "I need help getting up. Knees and back aren't what they used to be."

May laughed, helping him, and they walked to the dining table.

Deke came out and bowed. "Madame? Sir?"

"How did you plan this?" Melinda was eating homemade macaroni and cheese, in the soft candlelight, the scent of roses lingering.

"I had lots of help from the people that we love, and love us." Phil wasn't nervous anymore. Mack was a genius in the kitchen. He'd roasted drumsticks in a homemade barbecue sauce, and added sharp cheddar to broccoli, and made a fresh salad.

It was simple but delicious and every so often, Deke would appear to refill their water and take away used plates.

"These rolls are really good," May commented as she had her third one with butter. "You didn't have to do all this."

"What, you don't think you're worth a mac and cheese dinner?" Phil grinned.

"The ring? The proposal?"

"I love you, Melinda," Phil stopped eating and held her hand. "I didn't think I deserved you, but if you would have me, I'll be the happiest man in the world. And will try my best to make you happy."

Melinda sighed. "Suppose you're just feeling guilty?"

"Suppose you were feeling sorry for me when you told me you loved me?" Phil returned.

"I would never do that," May was affronted.

"Well, neither would I," Phil said, getting up. "I have a surprise for you."

He went to the sideboard and brought the bottle of Haig.

Deke appeared with glasses, removing their plates, and Phil made sure Melinda had a drink before he spoke again.

"I need to tell you about your LMD," he winced. "And the bottle of Haig I opened."

And after Melinda growled because her goddamned LMD kissed Phil before she did, she laughed.

"You kissed a robot," she smirked.

"Your LMD wanted to protect the real me," Phil smiled slowly. "Because it was programmed with your feelings."

Melinda grew silent.

"I don't know how long any of us have," she said. "But I love you. Yes. I'll marry you, Phil."

Phil laughed and pulled the box from his jacket. He slid the ring on her finger, a plain diamond solitaire on white gold. "Talbot can marry us."

Melinda giggled, the sound reminding Phil of when they first met.

"Well since you can't live without me," she murmured.

Phil reached over, kissing her gently. "I can't. I love you."

"I love you too, Phil," she kissed him back, feeling the reassuring weight of the ring on her finger.

"Did it work?" Jemma whispered to Fitz and Daisy.

"I dunno," Fitz and Daisy grunted, at the same time.

"We did all we could do," Daisy said, pragmatically. "I gotta go change." She was walking off to her room.

"Daisy, I'm sorry," Fitz blurted.

Daisy stopped, and sighed, turning around. "Would you do it again?"

Fitz froze.

"I didn't sacrifice Jemma when Ruby threatened her," Fitz confessed. "Because I couldn't."

But he'd sacrificed her, was the unspoken message.

Daisy scoffed. "If you sacrificed Jemma, I'd have to come after you." She smiled at them both, her first friends at Shield, then turned away, growing serious.

Maybe someday, she'll be someone's priority. Not today, though. Dark eyes and a man in a leather jacket flashed across her mind. She brushed it aside.

Robbie was God knows where, and she'd probably never see him again. She pushed aside the pain; no need to dwell on what she couldn't change.

Mack, Yoyo, and Deke were cleaning up.

"This wasn't too bad," Deke commented. "Think we gonna get another wedding?"

"We just gotta wait and see," Mack answered, eyes twinkling at Yoyo. She blushed and smiled.

Deke nodded, and Mack wondered how long would they have with him on the team. Maybe they should be nicer to him, lemons and all.

And that night, Phil and Melinda went to bed together.

"Are you sure?" Phil stammered as she locked the door.

"It's been decades," Melinda's gaze was wicked as she began undressing. "I'm sure."

And while her outfit was practical, Phil would realize soon, that her underthings were not.

The next morning, their limbs were tangled as they listened to each other's heartbeats.

"We need to have that team meeting," Phil murmured. "Make a game plan."

"Let Daisy handle it," Melinda was snuggled in his arms, happier than she'd ever been. "This is our time. Let's take our happiness."

All talk ceased after that, as Phil decided to do just that.


End file.
